Bring on the nicu grandfathers!
We know that the mother and grandmothers get all the credit when dealing with the nicu. Even nicu fathers take a back seat to the ladies in most circumstances so grandfathers really get the push back. We want to bring grandfathers up to have a place in and out of the nicu. We have some tips on where they can make a huge difference in getting things done if a nicu grandfather is willing and able to do them!
The NICU Grandfather!
The grandfather of the baby can include the father of either parent in our experience. We even drop the step off the word step father. If you're a person filling the role of nicu grandfather then assume the title. The nicu grandfather is usually out of place in the nicu. The system of birthing has always been classified as women's work and the nicu is no different. The staff is usually higher in percentage female where only the few doctors or respiratory staff are male. But we still want nicu grandfathers in the nicu. Some of these guys can also know what to do to remove the regular problems that pop up during a visit. These fellas are the perfect help staff when you want a special foods delivered or an item from the car retrieved. If nothing else a grandmother that has overstayed her visit and is getting on the nerves of the party can easily be dealt with by a special look to the nicu grandfather to say "come on dear, we have to go" Ah yes! a nicu grandfather is good to have around. Below is our way of selecting out traits that can be difficult to understand about what to do in and out of the nicu for grandfathers. We only say "good" and "bad" because of the playful connotation of the terminology. By no means are we indicating terms like good or bad fit all grandfathers, use as you see the terms fitting and move along where they don't.
A good grandpa will remove obstacles and plan logistics that are needed to overcome in order to have a good nicu experience. The nicu is an emotional place where time is either too fast or too slow depending on what is happening. A person's dad can be a rock of solace when things are bad. A parents father can be a closer relationship during these times as there are many instances where words cannot be used to make matters better. If a grandpa is in shape and wants to mow the lawn of the nicu parent who would rather spend their time in the nicu is a golden grandpa. Any of these normal task can mound up and force the parents to deal with them along with the new baby when the nicu graduate come home. A nicu grandpa can find ways to reduce these task if they are willing and able to do so!
We will deal with bad grandpa directly, if he is not wanting to be of any help then let him stay out! There is no need of trying to lean on him to do anything so don't push him. A bad grandpa can really make the rest of the group anxious and having someone around who doesn't want to be there can really make things worse. Traits can include: calling the grandma or child to put pressure on them to leave the nicu to suit his own schedule, complains the whole time about trivial matters like the traffic or parking at the nicu, name calling the nice staff like "slow susan" or "lazy larry" or any other crotchety thing that would create more stress to an already stressful place.
Grandpa rules to remember:
Related pages and what to do next!
The preemie paradox has written on family matters in and out of the nicu. How you select your support team is important. So make sure to check out our other pages and blog post for more information and tips to make your transition out of the nicu and into your home!