Our Preemie Paradox Story
Above is the composit I made in photoshop to tell everyone that my wife and I are expecting our first child. We were older than most first time parents in Tennessee so we were going to make this our best shot and having a child. At 38 years old I was concerned about how much a child was going to effect our everyday life. We had no idea we would go through such a horrible experence.
Our expectations were set backed when we were put in the high risk category, getting a circlauge, and having a fluid leak and living at the hospital. We would eventually have our daughter at 26 weeks 2 days at 1lb 13oz. We would spend the next 89 days in the nicu with many complications. After leaving the nicu a parent must go to many specialist for additional care and we were no different.
Later we would get the bills and finacial information from the insurance company that would ruin us. We got into the early intervention programs from the state that would continue our therapies until we aged out to the school system. Today we have an autism diagnosis and many learning disabilities from prematurity.
This is why I used the word "paradox" with "preemie". By definition a paradox, is a logically self-contradictory statement that runs contrary to one's expectation. It is a statement that, despite apparently valid reasoning from true premises, leads to a seemingly self-contradictory or a logically unacceptable conclusion says wikipedia.
We would all rather had big fat bouncy babies we could take home the next day but we had small sickly kids who needed months to come home close to normal. Today we dress up our preemies in costums and nicu graduate apparal to try and make the best of it but deep down we wish things would've worked out differently. I don't believe I've ever heard of an expecting mom who wanted a preemie in the nicu.
This website is for those of us who didn't have the choice. We were expecting the nurcery and got the "baby in nicu" sticker. Preemie parents have to be tough and we will create a deeper bond with our babies. We want to help you develop this love and bonding for the rest of your lives. Yes, that's right! You will never be the same as the parents around you with common kids.
This is why our slogan is "making parents better so they can guide their kids well" we want to help parents and develop resources that can educate and empower a preemie parent to stay involved in the future of their child. Below is how we see how this taking action!
For those in the nicu
The big problem of having a baby in the nicu cannot be solved. You can never go back in time and make anything better. Unfortunately the one question you want answered the most "how is all this going to turn out?" Is impossible to answer so let's focus on how to go forward from where you are! Since the baby is in good hands in the nicu, we'll assume the parents could use some help!
The nicu staff see's their patient as the baby and they care for the baby twenty four hours a day for as long as the neonatologist needs them to stay. The nicu really doesn't need the parents there at all to care for their patient. So where does the parents fit in? Even though parents are not nessecery they are highly encouraged to participate in their babies care. Anything a parent wants to know about their child can be answered by the nicu staff. A parent can even learn the equipment and change diapers, along with feedings. Most nicu nurses teach parents how to do CPR and other life saving manuvers along with propper car seat and transportaion care. So what more would you need? The preemie paradox seeks to help in the areas the nicu can't help in. Parent care is not clinical or a medical practice so you find groups like ours stepping up to help.
Unfotunately there isn't one big problem and the little problems are different from one parent to the next.
Also there isn't a standard or gauge for how you are supposed to feel or make decisions we can check a parent against to make sure they're ok.
Post nicu parent care is percieved as unessesary by most medical professionals.
Hormones and ptsd can cause a parent to act out due to a psychosomatic response or trigger instead of a real problem
The parents self identity as a psudo person makes it hard to know if a perent is serious or just making it through with as little effort as they can.
Ultimately it is hard to make every parent better without knowing every parents concern. Without finding out the problems, it's hard to provide at least one solution.
A Few Solutions
The preemie paradox does not believe in a single solution to fix all problems. We don't even believe you can be "fixed" at all so we don't even try to fix anyone. We simply let the parent decide if the content we produce is for them or not.
Our main focus is on post nicu care when parents are the support staff. We don't tell you how to parent but how you can include some things you might not have thought about.
Our courses and blog cover a wide spectrum of topics so a parent can decide what they would like to learn.
The preemie paradox live show has many industry professionals on to talk about their area of specialty. We also take questions so a guest may answer concerns.
We believe it is best to put out content that follows the progression of your child. We listen to our community so if there is a topic you want covered, we'll try our best to make that happen!
Lets examine some pros and cons
We all understand that most areas of any subject is never all bad or all good. There are always going to be a sliding scale that differs in each person but those who need and more "pro vs con list, we made a list of 5 of each to help decide if we are the group you trust with your preemie parent help and education!
We want every preemie parent to get the help they need even if we are not the group the parents go with. The preemie paradox is not a foundation or non-profit. If we do not produce good quality information then we won't be in business. We ask that you try a though experiment below and answer the questions in your own way.
Q1. What if you did nothing from the nicu to your home. No support groups or clinic telling you what to do. Would this be so bad? Besides, didn't the nicu gradute classes teach you everything that you would need to know?
Q2. What if you took classes and courses from all kinds of groups specailizing in nicu care. You would have most of your weak areas pointed out and educational material to help you gain confidence in those areas. Would you be any better equipt as a nicu parent with all these resources?
Q3. What if you were able to pick and choose your content once you were able to dicsern what you really needed? That you took your time and only explored nicu help groups with a clear head and honest approach. Would you be any better off by picking and chosing over going with a stock solution or nothing at all?
If your thought experiment answer is "yes or no" to any of them then you are right! But how can the answer be "yes or no" and still be right then? It's because how much or how little involvement should depend on you! It is you the parent that either needs areas of care or has everything under control, we are here for both!
Lets look at each thought question independantly;
Q1 - It is true that many nicu graduate classes are given to the parents. And we admit that in most parents who get involoved in the nicu programs can come home with a base knowledge taught by nicu professionals. You have the right information to be a good support parent. If you're ok with this view then read our blog pages and see our videos where we do product reviews! You're still going to have to buy products or get something passed down to you and you'll want to know if it's good or how to take it apart to clean it!
Q2 - This question is for a person that is usuall very involved and anxious! Fear and anxiety are very common in the nicu. We believe you can go overboard in over preparing for post nicu care. We do offer many courses to help in bridge the gaps in a parents knowledge areas but without an agreed upon plan from the parents, our advice may get implemented the wrong way. But If a parent does not want to think about all the complexities of setting up their home as a care center for their child then they're in luck. We have many courses and videos explaining what and why you should follow our advice.
Q3 - This question shows the strength of a person to get through their nicu experiance with the ability to manage their expectaions and emotions. We believe this type of person is going to be ok either way they go with content from us! Our courses and videos are written with this trait in mind. We believe parents should make a well thought our plan that fits the direction they want to take in setting up their care center and plan ahead for when the transition takes place between baby to toddler. This way their personality can be unique to them and specific to their needs. The preemie paradox courses and content can be used as needed.
So what answers do you have to my problems?
The preemie paradox seeks to "make parents better so they can guide their kids well" this is our motto and our statement to our continuing effort to support preemie parents in their time of need. Leaving the nicu with your baby is just the beginning of your journey! Your child will transition to a toddler, to a preschooler, to a kid and so will your questions that need answers. The Q&A will need to progress in the same fashion. We believe there are many possibilities to finding an answer but only the parent can decide what the perfect answer is. This is why we wont give you an end all type of answer. Our content will give you what we know to be our opinions on matters that effect the majority of nicu parents.
Our Preemie Paradox Content comes in may forms
Overall Rating: 4/5
Our Preemie Apprentice courses are the best way to get specific training in areas you want to learn about. These courses come in 2 kinds. The general courses are free but there are a Premium Preemie class of courses that are designed with certain topics in mind that cost money. These courses are very diverse so make sure to check out the page and sign up today!
Our Live Show
Overall Rating: 4/5
The preemie paradox live show was the reason we started the business in the first place. Our founder already had an idea to use live shows for his other websites so the preemie paradox was added to his list. We interview nicu professionals and others in the area of care and support groups. We also take audiance questions on the show to include the community!
Preemie Paradox Blog
Overall Rating: 5/5
We have product reviews, community support, and stories about preeie life today on our blog. Some blogs have videos of unboxing and assembly of products used in the preemie community. We also have a podcast that features the audio portion of the live show and some blog content discussion with the preemie paradox team. Go ahead and sign up!
The Main Benefits of our Content:
Here is how you can take the next steps!
We would like every preemie parent to look through our content and find something that could help them! We don't presure anyone with banner ad's or pop up's so we made a promotional page where you can sign up for our content to be sent to your email inbox. Please use these 3 steps below to guide your choice and the link below to our promotional page if you would like to sign up for our email list.
find content you like
Our content is our word of encouragement to preemie parents. Find you a few videos or live shows and watch them for something you didn't think of or how to do something. We believe our content is good for trying a rational new idea or problem solver. Find you a few areas of content and you'll be on your way!
subscribe to get more
We have a long list of programs to make content about. You wont know if we have a new video on youtube or a new blog out if you don't subscribe. Make sure to sign up for our email list or newsletter to stay up to date. We also use social media to keep our audiance caught up but we always try to do an email first!
use your new skills
The most important division to excel in is the doing section. It is not enough to know the answer, you must do an action in order for any work to be done. We want preemie parent to be the gold standard of parenting right. You wont be able to implement change unless you make the change you need to happen.
If you've seen enough and want to get in on the preemie paradox action then click the link below and fill out the forms and you'll be on your way! Make sure to follow us on social media and our podcast! And make time for yourself while you're at it!
Subscribe to the Preemie Paradox Podcast